PRELUDE..................

Prelude.......???!!! wht a weird title one wuld say.........but tht was how i have saved it on my d-drive..............because tht was the first word tht came to my mind as soon as i read it!!!

I am talkin abt this mail tht i had recievd a couple of days ago. It kind of is a compilation of my thoughts.........thoughts of a "TWENTY - SOMETHING "

I relly liked the title.....coz it did touch a very sensitive nerve..........TWENTY - SOMETHING bin twenty implies so many thngs...........and so many SCARY things which are said and also unsaid...........things which sometimes we feel are not meant for us but for someone older to us.............but suddenly those jobs r given to us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah.............being twenty has its bnefits and down-sides.........but its an amazing experience nonetheless.

This brings we back to the mail....................it has within it many paras.............which i am sure everyone i.e. every TWENTY - SOMETHING would relates to................so here are the paras.....1 at a time.............literally copy pased frm the mail.....along with my own interpretations..........

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."It is when you stop going along

with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about

yourself that you didn't know.

yeah......thts wht i am talking abt..............we surprise owerselves by sayin smething which we earlier would never had dared to say!!!!!!!!!!!! we take up responsiblities.........we vote........we drive [ officially] ;) ...............we hence officially become adults...............happy realistaion to us all!!!!!!!

You start feeling insecure and wonder

where you will bein a year or two,

but then get scared because

you barely know where you are now.

itsnt this clearly evident!!!!!!!!!!!!..................these signs and emotions r everywhere.....outside every colleges and institutions also within the walls of our homes or.......plastered on the faces of the millions like us that we would see running to catch a train or bus.......even on the beach...... in malls......... JUST ABT EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!.........uncertain future, uncertain relationships, peer pressure, self-discovery, proving urself.................

One minute, you are insecure and then the next,secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life.

You feel alone and scared and confused.

Suddenly,change is the enemy and you try and cling on to

the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is

drifting further and further away, and there is nothing

to do but stay where you are or move forward.

no one can run away from this.....................absolutely no one............so less time left......so many emotions felt............hormones acting up........r should i say hormones settling down????.............and also no point denying this..............

i kept reading this mail over and over again.............for the first time i thought a very useful forward has finally come through.............it just explains so many things..................butt this is just a small part of the mail..............i may write abt the rest of it later................coz i am still unsure..............and now i better publish his mail before i decideto delete it...............so... here is a [confused] TWENTY -SOMETHING signing off..............

End of the road.........or a start of a new begining

I generally dont feel so insecure abt nething...........but today is a diff story altogether. I was , untill a few minutes ago, strugglin to write a synopsis for my thesis presentation tht would happen tomm.......THESIS???....TOMM???..........but i am only in 4th yr!!!!!!............i still have to finish this year and then worry abt thesis in 5th yr..............but not anymore.........

Its relly scary when i and my batchmates start talkin abt thesis.........the project is in a too early stage to make me nervous but the thought tht i would be levain my insitution behind and steppin out..........tht is scary........the thought implies just soo many things which have suddenly become unspeakable for me........

Does it mean tht it is an end of a very carefree and funfilled times?? and the fact that such carefree times will possibly never come , in this form, again i our lives????

Or do i assume tht we have much better things waiting for us outside and those would eventually compensate our nostalgia????

It only seems like yesterday tht i had entered the insitution and had come to terms with so many things tht i was unaware abt.........so many diff value systems and ideas........struggling to fit in.........yet remain diff...........yes.....it only seems like yesterday........sometimes i wish tht when i would wake up tomm, i would still be in 1st yr and the memories of the past years would be wiped clean to accomodate new ones.........i still wish.... if only i was possible........[sigh]

Just typing out my thesis synopsis has started affecting me..............maybe i am preparing myself for the days to come............days filled with more responsiblities, work and wht not......

So, in the meantime..........let me make a small promise to myself..........henceforth, let me live my life to its fullest extent...........love each and every moment tht comes my way............njoy and learn whatever i can................JUST LET ME LIVE MY LIFE!!!!!!!! Tht's it!!!!!!

Resolutions.....................

I....................

Will not ignore this blog for a long time................
Will not ignore in general..................
Will try and stay away frm the colour orange for a while.............
[ god knows why ppl have problem with tht colour.......such a bright and happy colour]
Will try to igore the ppl who should be ignored.............
[ actually ignore them even more]


As i read this post , i have just realised how negative this post has become .............but had not intended it to be tht way.......i have made this resolutions so tht my life becomes easier and better and have just ended up with an irony.........some things in life r just beyond logic........atleast for me!!!!!!!!

Happy New Year.................a gr8 week for a start!!!!!

Such a gr8 new year celebration. And a very refreshin way to start a new year. No year long resolutions for me this year [ acually thts 1 of my resoluion]. Instead will aim for smaller and more attainable resolution'S.......................it worked for me........saw the result of it in 1 week flat.....finally found a way of keepin my own word for myself....................

Unfortunately coll started on 2nd and had to attened as we had workshops................but it was a very amusing and xcitin week............a week overloaded with work..........but the fun was also unlimited.

.......exchange students........talent night.......night maroing in the coll and at friends place..................the presentation..............the SPICE Girls.................Koreans [ they were soooooo cute.....especially the twin towers ]......................the DRESS rehersals and the drama tht went with it............the actual dance.........solo performance in a group dance...............the most-xcited-abt-but-not-perform-mujrah..............the videos of the performances..........the review of some missed performances................Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wht fun!!!!!!!!!!!!

Neways..................heres wishin Happy and Prosperous New Year to eveyone.......i no its very late but better late than never..............