Did u ever feel intimated by the person u almost thought u knew so well because of their unexpected reaction to a very important issue ? Did u ever feel scared by tht person's view abt the matter??? Did u ever anticipitate such, very disturbing reactions from them?? Did u ever feel tht ur perception of the person is so wrong tht all this while u have imagined them to be someone diff.........................so many questions yt life goes on..
Life had been fun for a long time. It was too good to last for a long time, i should have realised.This is how it all started.
I thought tht i knew my friend so well. It has been sooooo many years tht i knew my friend. I always thought i knew how my friend would react to any situation. Alas, I was wrong and i realised i was sooo wrong.
Over some issue, I realised i was talkin to a complete stranger who i didnt even realise. Someone so diff from the person i knew tht i didnt recgnise this person. Nor did i want to . So diff tht i just wanted to run in the opposite direction as fast as possible. I was soo wrong in judging tht person. But wht i missed was tht here i was happily judgin the person.......aaaaahhaa.............big mistake!!!!
No one likes to be judged!! I definately dont. Then why should i judge anyone else...........not my right!! But its true tht we have a perception of anybody and everybody tht we meet. A picture is played in our mind abt the person everytime we address this particular person. Isnt tht judgin?? I dont no. Maybe my perception abt this person had become so strong over the years tht a sudden change in it was not accepted by me. I just could not digest it. And it has for god-only-knows-wht-reason become such an issue for me alone tht i had to get it out.
Maybe i am now ready for a change in the perception or shall we say makeover of tht person's image in my head. None of my friend's reaction would hit me so hard now. I am so sure. But i am not sure i like it. Actually i hate it. I like the earlier image better. Because tht was how i imagined my friend would be.
My old friend.
2 comments:
hey.......me going thru the same phase.....have experienced this many times but its really difficult to digest when it comes to someone really very close. but then we just need to accept it i guess. life changes each moment. circumstances change and ppl need to change themselves accordingly.maybe u and me have also come a long way frm wot we were sometime back and maybe others r also saying the same abt us.the thing is we just need to accept(though its difficult)that ppl do change and the image we had abt them is not permanent.
Sorry, would be thinking and answering this question.. so do xcuse me if you find this reply SAD !!!
Bt then I feel I am more comfortable wid such situations... and very few times do i actually get into such situations (may be tats y i m sharing my opinion alongwid few pointers which may help)... oki now read further
Firstly, i must say you hav identified the problem well and more so bcoz u hav also seen it objectively..!
I feel judging the person is fine... and i m sure everyone does it (bt may not accept it). Bt then associating 'EXPECTATIONS' wid a person, i feel is the root cause of discomfort. This is more prominent wid relationships u treasure or want to treasure. I also need to add here that without expectations there is very less left in a relationship.
So, its a viscious circle :
relationship -> expectations -> craving
And rightly said: No one likes to be judged!! I definately dont. Judging the person is not EVIL and EXPECTATIONS are also NOT EVIL bt then expectation lead to craving which is unwanted and uncalled for.
Well, jst a pointer craving is one of the 3 root causes of unhappines according to Vipassana alongwith aversion and ignorance.
The key lies in getiing aways from craving. Jst to cite a eg: Consider u never expectd your brother/sister to behave in a particular way and they happed to... so u get disturbed.. well its normal bt then it is bcoz they happen to disfigure the mental image tat u have in our mind which is not easily accepted by ur MIND.
Now, Gautama Buddha did suggest ways to get away from such miseries of life and ppl preaching them call it way of Dhamma (pure religion) - Vipassanna: The Art of Living. Now its not 'Art of Living taught by Sri Sri.. " bt its the same ART started by Kiran Bedi in Tihar Jail. Manasi ... if you remember its the same course which we happend to to do for 3 days (which included breathing excercises) whn in schoool ... rember ?
I did happen to do a 10 day course arnd 2 years back and would recommend it to others too.. if they are ready to follow this code of conduct >> http://www.dhamma.org/code.htm for 10 days.
Some pointers :
http://www.dhamma.org/
http://www.buddhanet.net/bvk_study/bvk212b.htm
For the uninterested, the best would be CRY abt it and then say/do a few things to convince urself... continue living (with cravings, miseries and offcourse iggnorance)
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