Believing is wht i can do.....only momentarily

I never believed in fate or destiny or God, but today I want to.

I never believed in any event if my "logical" brain couldnt reason it out, but today my" logical" brain forces me to believe.........but i still dont want to......yet i have to and i will, i know tht for sure.

I never wanted to deal with my distant future, whats the point neways....wht has to happen will happen, i rather live and deal with my present................but still i cant ignore my distant future on the basis of my past and present.

I never believed in fate but i firmly believed in coincidences............

Its funny to see tht how a human manipulates his vocabulary to decide wht he wants to believe and wht he dosent...........everyone does it....and if u claim u dont...............then ur not a thinking human being..................
This is exactly wht we all do........me included.

I have just realised that i knowingly or unknowingly share this weird and messed up equation with my brain and conscience. I have always denied fate and destiny. i saw no reason to believe it. It never fitted in my thinking.

Today, this eqaution is altered. I cannot ignore facts. Facts, so true and so unimaginably intertwined tht I can no longer deny it. My brain accepts it without doubt, but my conscience still has two-minds abt it.

I am too confused , no doubt abt tht. But confusion helps sometimes. It is helping me .............now.......to sort out my reasons for believing and not believing.

I never believed in fate or destiny, but today, i want to believe it.

And i mean each of the word i have written.

Of GOD, i still dont know..........maybe the realisation of HIM being there would come to me someday.......till then i would believe in a powerful force.........my conscience.....which is my GOD!